Gallucci immune to cramps as tests reveal abnormally high sodium levels from Nonna Gallucci’s sauce.

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Jordan Gallucci has undergone tests today that have revealed he is immune to cramping as the result of mass consumption of Nonna Gallucci’s famous sauce. 

The sauce, made from a recipe handed down through generations, is known for it’s astronomically high sodium levels. Doctors believe that Gallucci’s weekly consumption of Nonna’s home cooked pasta have rendered him immune to any cramping during exercise.

The Adelaide Crows coaching staff are reportedly set to utilise this physical advantage by giving Gallucci 100 per cent game time and training time in 2019, a strategy that does not sit well with Nonna.

“My Jordy needs to have some rest, he is too skinny. He don’t need more exercise, he need’s to find a good woman to look after him.”

Jordan however, is excited.

“Let’s get stuck in. If this gives me an excuse to eat Nonna’s sauce more often, them I’m all for it. That will hopefully get me back in her good books after I told her I was going to miss Sauce day this year.”

More to come.


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