Port’s loss to Essendon saves Crows fan from self harm after disastrous weekend

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Jonny Dowd was looking down the barrel of the worst weekend of his life.

After finishing work on Friday, Dowd was forced to sit in the rain while his beloved Adelaide Crows served up their weakest performance since last years Grand Final, eventually losing to Collingwood by 48 points.

The social media storm that followed as every Victorian looked to sink the boot in was enough to make Dowd consider changing his Facebook profile picture from his current photo with Crows star Kyle Hartigan to a nice one with taken with his girlfriend at their last weekend getaway to a Barossa Valley winery.

But Sunday has seen Dowd’s fortunes take a turn after his most hated enemy, Port Adelaide, served up a pathetic performance against a resurgent Essendon.

“I was dreading this week. If Port had won I would have had to put up with Michelangelo fawning over them in the paper whilst sticking the knife into the Crows. Don’t get me started on how smug Kane Cornes would have been. The bloke would have been stealing memes left and right”

“This should shut them up though.”

Dowd identified the poor performance of ‘gun’ recruits Tom Rockliff and Trent McKenzie as two of the best aspects of the loss.

“I saw Rucci write an article saying that Gibbs and Rockliff have both had a successful start to their careers at new clubs. What a joke. Gibbs is probably the best player in the league right now. Rockliff looks like he wouldn’t be able get a touch in a B Grade ammo’s team.”

Dowd said while Ports loss was good news, he still had to face the bitter reality of his own team’s shortcomings.

“We’ve got Sydney in Sydney next week with Tex, Betts and Sloane all injured. All I can say is I hope Port lose again next week.”

More to come.


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